International Cowboy Church Alliance Network - ICCAN

Spreading the love of Jesus...the Cowboy Way!

Before you read this latest Moment with Jesus I need to explain some things. First, Jesus is JOY! No doubt! I live Him, breathe Him, He is my EVERYTHING! There is an absolute FREEDOM in Christ, Fullness of Joy in His presence, profound PEACE! I have no desire to turn back to my old life, my old desires. Truthfully, I was hesitant to share this glimpse into my time with the Lord for fear of any misunderstanding. Then the Lord spoke very clearly of this need for truth. A topic we at times dismiss, do not want to share or be too transparent. Yet it is transparency that the Lord uses to set others free from strongholds at times. So here’s my heart wide open on this one. Help me Lord! 


I need you to understand there is a sorrow that occurs at times as we walk with the Lord. A sorrow when others turn from the truth. A sorrow when a brother or sister wounds you on the journey. A sorrow, and sometimes heaviness, that comes when God asks you to do something contrary to the understanding of man. A sorrow that comes when God does not allow you to defend yourself yet asks you to remain silent and let Him battle for you. A sorrow when you missed a chance to share Him with someone whose life on earth just ended. A weariness that comes from the battle between good and evil. A longing for rest sometimes as God nudges you to keep will have to wait. A fatigue that can be overwhelming even to the most faithful servant. A discouragement that comes when you know God gave you a vision and years later it is yet to be fulfilled. I read much about this with some of the most faithful evangelist throughout the centuries who also experienced times of great distress.

Let’s face it, if we are honest about this, and we truly are living out our faith in Jesus…the journey can be quite difficult and full of despair! As I was in this season of my life God showed me a passage of scripture in Ephesians 6:20 where Paul describes himself as an ‘ambassador in chains.”


Ephesians 6:19-20 “and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my
mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.”

I get this!! FREEDOM is always found in His WORD! We AREN’T CRAZY! Paul felt the same way! Don’t you also remember David and the Psalms as he poured out his anguish of heart before God! Truly, on the days when you think it’s time to throw in the towel, this is just too hard, I cannot do this anymore! I’ve given the good fight, It’s time to turn back. Let me tell you there is NO TURNING BACK! It would not be worth it. Go to the secret place and hear Him say what He said to me. “I cannot let you go are mine! I need you to go tell others and fulfill your calling!” I could bawl my eyes out writing this because truthfully I can’t live without Him! He is my LIFE! My LOVE! My King! My heart belongs to Him and I would miss Him so should I turn back! Be encouraged He is so deeply in love with YOU! He will pursue you passionately and not let go! Thank you Jesus! If you are walking in the things of God think it not strange my friend of these sinking feelings. There is a very REAL Battle taking place all around us! Remain under His wings, stay in His presence! A Valley leads to a mountaintop! Learn in the journey! Be faithful…even when you think you have nothing left to give! HE WILL SUSTAIN YOU! Don’t condemn yourself, He knows we are but humans! We NEED HIM! With Him ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! The truth is “Apart from Him, we CAN DO NOTHING!” including walking victoriously our journey with Him! He is the Journey!


Bound by Grace

(©Shelly Wilson Music, Sesac)


As you write my story

Would you include

A time of rest….

Today my mind is tired

Of all this loneliness


When you send me down the road

To set another free

Please…don’t forget me.

And my own sea of unbelief.


Some days I’m barely holding on

But only by a thread

trying to obey

All of your requests

yet now I understand why Paul was bound in chains

Not because of any man

For he was simply bound by grace.


And as you watch me sleep

Will your feathers cover me?

From the taunting that’s hovering?


And would you break into the clouds

Where darkness is daunting

And shine through with a smile

To wash away the haunting?


Some days I’m barely holding on

But only by a thread

trying to obey

All of your requests

yet now I understand why Paul was bound in chains

Not because of any man

For he was simply bound by grace.


And in my darkest hour

When I’m ready to give in

When I long for normalcy

And the praise of men

The thought of living without you

is unbearable to me

there can be no turning back

you whisper in the wind

So slowly I get up

With sorrow and with pain

With a glance you nod your head

And pour out peace like rain.


I know you’re barely holding on

You’re hanging by a thread

Trying to obey

All of my requests

So now you understand that Paul was bound in chains

He wasn’t bound by any man

But he was bound by my grace.


Love MUCH!,



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